


Five times Minhyun said I love you too and the one time he didn’t

by charmandu



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 5 Things, 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:24:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandu/pseuds/charmandu
Summary: A recounting of a few of their most memorable exchanges of I love yous.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry for this this work is quite substandard. :(  
> 

The first time was in August.

It was summer and hot and humid and it’s unbearable. Everyone is too tired to move since even the slightest movement would cause friction that would then manifest into sweat. Jaehwan hated sweat and sweating and all the in-betweens. He likes the chill, the comfortable, and wearing cardigans, and dreaming about cuddling with a certain someone.

Of all the summers in his life, this is the only summer that he has taken anything seriously, academic-wise. Practicing as a midfielder in the dry soccer field took most of his summer days before. Video games came in second, playing with Jihoon or Woojin up until midnight when his parents permit.

What changed his mind wasn’t really a puzzle and it takes a form of a stunning boy he met during middle school. He was a transferee then, when Jaehwan was in his first year. The senior, he’ll later know from the gossip vine (Daehwi), has a name and it sounded too cool and manly for him. He tried saying it out loud once when he was taking the trash from his classroom to the garbage bin outside. He said it as if it could get him closer to the other, all natural and without that much effort. Minhyun’s name rolled in his tongue smoothly, like it was honey easing every pain his throat has experienced ever since he started singing when he was 2 years old.

Jaehwan didn’t do anything about this _crush_ but fate seems to have other plans. A team of boys were asked to be ushers for a parent-teacher program in their school. They were partnered together and were stationed at the first row of seats. Both of them are wearing suits (Jaehwan’s was a size larger).

There was too much time before the program started, giving them too much time to talk. Fast-forward to now, they were almost inseparable. He’s his hyung.

Almost, because Minhyun is now in university and they don’t see each other anymore.

Jaehwan was with his guitar, singing an English song about reuniting that he thought of one of his best ideas to date. This led him to the unavoidable fact that he needs to take studying seriously if he wants to go to the same university his hyung is attending.

Jaehwan knows that it is the middle schooler in him, stuck with an ugly feeling of having a _crush_ , that made the decision to open a chat with Minhyun. Their last text message was about a meme Jaehwan found funny to which the other replied “haha" to. 

The younger asked him about his study and gauged if the other was busy so that he could close the window that is leading him to hope about a probability of future study sessions with Minhyun. He was shocked, almost failing to hold onto his guitar which slid from his lap when Minhyun agreed to tutor him for the upcoming college entrance exams.

He doesn’t know what good deed he’s done in his lifetime to deserve such a wonderful opportunity. Truly life changing.

The two meet in the public library every Saturday evening. Minhyun always brought his study notes when he was studying for the entrance exams himself so that he could go about it one by one to Jaehwan. Minhyun thought that recycling his reviewers would be most practical.

The table they always chose was in front of a shelf containing graphic encyclopedias since Minhyun thought it was cute that Jaehwan would spend a good two to three seconds staring at one of the sharks in the front cover of one of the books when he couldn’t find the answer to a question Minhyun threw.

Two more weeks before the exams and both of them agreed to end the review that weekend. Jaehwan has realized that he has to mentally prepare himself during the weekend before he actually takes the exam. Plus, Minhyun has already reviewed him for about twelve Saturdays and he’s starting to get shy about it. Don’t get him wrong though, he likes the company and the time they spent together very much but he thought he was taking too much of his time.

Jaehwan has finished answering his mock exams when he noticed that the boy beside him has fallen asleep. His arms were crossed on the table and his face was facing his side. A few strands of hair were covering his forehead and a few went astray. It was the first time Jaehwan saw him in such an unfamiliar state and he couldn’t quite place where all of the butterflies in his stomach came from.

It was true that he’s labeled Minhyun his _crush_ since they met way back in middle school. But he knew that it was pure admiration. Minhyun was smart, funny, and nice, he could be mistaken to be a Powerpuff. It was hard to not to admire him as his good sides are always showing. So, this _thingy_ he was feeling right at that moment while looking at the boy he’s liked for how many years was just inevitable.

It was still unfamiliar and cruel and it’s doing something to him and he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

Jaehwan doesn’t know if he should wake him up so they could check his answers. His clock read 9:04 PM and the amount of people in the library has lessened to about a half. He knows his hyung is tired since he’s juggling advance studying, reviewing Jaehwan, and serving drinks in a local café and he doesn’t know if he has the heart to wake him up and take a few minutes more of his rest time.

The younger shifted slowly so he could get a better view of his hyung. He placed his elbow neatly at the top of his answer sheets and leaned his head in his palm. _Maybe a few more minutes_.

The memory was still fresh as if it just happened yesterday. The first topic they talked about when they were assigned together in middle school was Minhyun’s bow. He shared that he couldn’t get the right knot for the necktie so here he is. Jaehwan giggled at this, not quite getting the hardship and the time Minhyun invested just to learn how to fix his tie. He will always remember this.

Jaehwan folded his arms together on the study table so he could support his chin. This gave him a better view of the boy. He thought he could feel his breathing just by looking at the mere moving of his back because of his steady breathing. He thinks, no, he feels he’s fallen for this guy. Jaehwan admitted all of a sudden, “I love you, Minhyun-hyung.”

He wasn’t surprised about the words he said out loud. But it was an understatement to tell that he wasn’t ready to hear, “I love you too, Jaehwan-ah.”

Jaehwan passed the college entrance exams in flying colors.

He’s learned to love summer, sweat and sweating. All of it for a glimpse of all their in-betweens.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this whole fic was from Never where Jaehwan would belt "I love you" and Minhyun would second it with another "I love you." Don't you think it's sweet huhu <3

University was without a doubt, better than high school. Personalities that would’ve been clashing were weirdly occupying the same classroom without a fight. Every other person he meets is just as different as he is but as welcome. The vagueness of each character dissolves when put in one classroom and Jaehwan is just amazed.

Veterinary Science was his first option in the university and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He was nervous, of course, to get in its vicinity. Doing so would mean that he is, in fact, already a college student and the spin of the universe will suddenly become unpredictable.

The thought that Hwang Minhyun is just in the same university calms him down even for just a little. Although he hasn’t told him yet that he’s moved in and that he was trying his best to integrate himself to the unfamiliar backdrop. Contact with him was scarce after passing the national exams, even after the one incident that made Jaehwan a complete confused mess.

You see, Jaehwan has already come to terms with the crushing and the pining and the not getting his feelings reciprocated. It was his reality and he’s done a good job in preparing himself for it. Little promises of not giving meaning to any of Minhyun’s ministrations were getting harder and harder to make but he’s managed well so far. It was not like he was waiting for their love story to unfold, anyway so he lets everything go. He doesn’t let it sink in.

Wednesday loomed in quickly. Jaehwan was still unadjusted that he’d only have two to three classes per day, and none at all during the Saturdays and Sundays. He’s already pulled up the University’s soccer club Facebook page and took note of the tryouts that will happen in his third week in uni.

He was having dinner (two cups of instant ramen) alone in his dorm when his phone vibrated, showing the familiar notification banner of KakaoTalk. He finished his first cup before looking at it, thinking that the notification was just an announcement from their block handlers but it was _him._

Their last exchange was during Seollal. It was only a simple photo greeting and nothing more.

“Jaehwan-ah, sorry if I’m just messaging now. Have you settled in already?”

Jaehwan heard it in Minhyun’s voice. God, Minhyun’s voice was a constant to him up until recently. Jaehwan was actually surprised when he realized that he hasn’t been obsessing over the fact that he could bump into him any time since they probably walk on the same area as the College of Medicine wasn’t that far from his own faculty.

He’s been staring at the wall for too long when he thought that Minhyun would probably wait for his reply since he’s opened the message already and _seen_ it. He types a quick response, “Hyung, how are you? I’m doing great so far. Thanks!” He pressed send before his mind overthinks this (which it actually did a few seconds after.) A sticker of a bear popped up after with his big smile and paw formed into a thumbs up. “Let’s celebrate on Friday?” was quick to follow the past message. 

Jaehwan almost drops the noodles hanging from his chopsticks. What a turn of events.

They’re meeting in a hipster-y place a few blocks from the university. The decorations were industrial and the chair he’s sitting on is high that his feet automatically searched for a rest. The lights were quite dimmed and the walls are unpainted. The music currently playing was in his old playlist so he nods an approval.

It was not long when it dawns on him that this is an entirely new scene from him. He knows his alcohol tolerance but he just doesn’t know if Minhyun’s presence would affect this. He ordered his first beer thirty minutes before their meeting time. One girl had already asked if the seat in front of him was taken but he gently let her know that he’s actually waiting for someone. He’s not the least bit thrilled about this. He knew he’d be too early.

Minhyun arrived twenty minutes after, making him still early for the time they agreed on. He’s seeing him for the first time in almost one year. He didn’t know it could make much difference from when they were reviewing in the library. This man is not active in social media so Jaehwan’s totally clueless about what’s happening in his life.

 _He looks so good._ Jaehwan almost choked on his beer. Minhyun was wearing a fitted long sleeves darker than his hair. A dark grey cardigan and a Japanese brand sneakers completed the ensemble. He can’t accept that this man was the same one that surprised him with an “I love you too” in the library.

“H-hyung!” Jaehwan almost forgot that he has to greet his senior.

“It’s been a while, Jaehwannie.” Minhyun smiled at him like how he smiled when they first met during that eventful day in the auditorium. Minhyun waved at the waiter to ask for the menu.

Both of them were thankful to skip the small talk. Their conversation went smoothly as if the last time they saw each other was just yesterday. Jaehwan did most of the talking since Minhyun has been asking him questions about his recent vacation, his classes, and his professors. They both laughed at the mention of some of the common mistakes they both did during the first day of classes.

Their fourth round of drinks were almost finished when Jaehwan felt something he’s been afraid to acknowledge even before. Jaehwan can’t discern the loaded glances Minhyun’s been throwing at him, especially Jaehwan’s slight touches in his hands were being reciprocated.

He doesn’t know where this is going and the night could still go on for god knows when.

But see, he’s been dealing with these types of feelings since middle school so he knows how to avoid the circumstance from getting into him. He has to win over this, at least. It’s been a while since they saw each other and it’s not the proper time to get some answers for unspoken questions. He knows his place in Minhyun’s life so there is no point in getting his hopes up. His college life is just starting, anyway.

It started to drizzle outside, making them notice the time and perhaps the amount of beer they’ve consumed.

Minhyun’s collar was raised to keep the chill from getting to his neck and Jaehwan pulled his hoodie up. They walked side by side in a quiet alley that was a shortcut to Minhyun’s dormitory. Jaehwan offered to walk him since he looked like he’d need it more. It was amusing to discover that Minhyun was a lightweight. Minhyun might have more trust in him than he has in himself to let him see this side of him.

Three blocks more and they arrived at Minhyun’s dorm gate. The drizzle has lessened but their hands remained in their pockets. Minhyun stood in front of the gate while Jaehwan faced him so he could get a better view of the dormitory. Jaehwan even joked that the house looked creepy.

Everything was silent. Jaehwan could hear his heartbeat primarily because of the chemicals of the alcohol. He noticed that his hyung’s shifted how he carried himself. The fresh air was then filled with nervousness. And Jaehwan felt a little helpless because he doesn’t know what’s going on.

“Look, Jaehwannie. I’m sorry I drunk more than I’m supposed to but…” Minhyun looked at him in the eyes. The light from the lamp post wasn’t romantic at all but it made him see that this is a different side of Minhyun—a side he’s not let exposed too easily so he considered this moment to be sequestered, albeit intimate.

Jaehwan didn’t talk. He knew Minhyun wasn’t looking for his affirmation but for courage instead. Courage to say something, to do something. Something they both know was long due but the right time just doesn’t come.

“I drank tonight…” Minhyun looked away from him. “To get a little boost.”

“Do you feel okay, hyung? Is there a problem?” Jaehwan just couldn’t shut his worry. All his theories have gone down the sink.

“It’s been in my chest for so long and there’s no scenario in my head where this will go right. So here it goes.” Minhyun glanced at Jaehwan who’s clueless of what was happening. “Will… will you go out with me?”

Jaehwan swore he’s listed all the possibilities that Minhyun could like him and he’s found only one or two and it somehow included bribery and blockmail. Impossible at all.

So how would he react to this? It’s like it’s becoming Minhyun’s habit to surprise him with these kinds of things.

“Hyung, I…” Jaehwan swallows a breath he didn’t know he’s been holding. “Hyung, I love you and you know that already.”

Minhyun stepped closer. He raised both of his hands to hold onto Jaehwan’s hoodie. He pulled him and closed the distance of their lips.

Both of them never knew kissing while intoxicated would be this messy. But the mess was all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me @charmandu27 please i need more people in my life haha


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you seen the MinHwan moments during the Asia Song Fest 2018? AHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3

Minhyun thought he was seeing stars as Jaehwan came in closer to the table he’s been occupying for two hours already in the café they frequent. Jaehwan was waving at him but he couldn’t move at all so he just stared, managing a small smile.

Jaehwan noticed that something was probably wrong immediately after sitting down. “Hyung, you look pale and the skin around your eyes are pinkish. Are you feeling okay?” Minhyun hasn’t even processed everything the younger said and Jaehwan has already put his palm on the other’s forehead to check his temperature.

“No, I’m fine Jaehwannie. Really.” Minhyun sniffed. He tried to get Jaehwan’s hands but his grip was weak. So instead, he tried to assure him verbally and make up for the lost strength. The cheeriness in his eyes are already replaced with worry and Minhyun doesn’t like it at all.

The younger has already narrowed his eyes on Minhyun’s, silently begging the other to tell the truth. Minhyun doesn’t have the strength to resist him as well so he admitted that he’s feeling under the weather. Jaehwan then probed more. “Since when did you feel sick?”

“Just this morning.” He coughed after answering. “I woke up and my throat is sore and it’s quite hard to swallow.” Minhyun supplied. He was thinking where the flu had come from.

Minhyun was quite scared at the fact that Jaehwan will ditch his class just to take care of him and it’s happening right before his eyes. _I should’ve just lied for one more hour._

“Hyung, I know what you’re thinking and our professor has already emailed us yesterday that he’ll be out of the country so he cannot meet our class for today. Let’s get you home.” Minhyun didn’t like his answer at all. He thought being sick would just make him a burden.

Jaehwan stood up faster than Minhyun’s taste and he felt dizzier. The water bottle was still almost full when he gave it to Minhyun, along with a blue oblong pill that would alleviate the temperature of his boyfriend.

Minhyun pouted at him. It was cute that Minhyun tried to convince him otherwise.

Jaehwan bent down and lowered himself to be in Minhyun’s level. He looked at him straight in the eyes and smiled. “Hyung, if you don’t drink this, the longer you will be sick. The longer you’ll be sick, the longer I won’t be able to kiss you.” Jaehwan winked.

Minhyun’s eyes grew bigger for a second, and then pouty Minhyun is back. He took the pill and the water bottle from Jaehwan’s hand rather slowly but still, _progress_. The older hesitantly placed the medicine in his tongue and quickly drank from the bottle. Minhyun just couldn’t get used to oral medication but the thought of the possibility of passing on the flu to Jaehwan (along with the danger of not kissing him) is beyond his annoyance to the pill.

Jaehwan took Minhyun’s hand, inviting him to stand so they could go. They strolled the university while Minhyun is leaning on him. He’s still dizzy and every stride is an effort. Focusing on the road is quite difficult for him so he focused his sight on Jaehwan instead. It’s much calming this way.

Jaehwan’s hair is a little longer now. His bangs are already reaching his eyebrows. He’s colored it chocolate brown this time because according to him, the color would match the Minhyun’s eyes. Minhyun blushed hard at the confession.

The younger one grew a few more centimeters too. Minhyun realized he wasn’t this tall when he started college. He was leaning on him and the other could fully support him, proving he’s stronger now. He’s been clinging on his arms and Minhyun just couldn’t ignore that Jaehwan’s arms are unexpectedly toned. He didn’t even know that Jaehwan has time for exercising.

His cheeks are thinner now as well. The cheeks that made everyone in mid-school call him ‘mandu king’ is now _less fluffy_ for the lack of a better word _._ The nagging about lessening the instant ramyun intake was successful apparently. Minhyun has been constantly pestering him about taking care of his health, not only because he’ll be practicing medicine in a few years’ time but also because he genuinely wants Jaehwan not to fall sick (like he was).

“Hyung, somebody once told me that getting the flu means that the body is reminding the mind to take a break. I think you’ve been busy because of lab and midterms but your body has had enough. It’s throwing a tantrum.” Jaehwan glanced at him.

“Jaehwan, I told you that.” Minhyun tried to give him a smile but he failed. He just looked like a penguin in pain.

“Yeah, hyung. And now your words are going back at you.” Jaehwan laughed at him. He didn’t think that his lover will remember.

In support, Jaehwan’s arms are around Minhyun’s hips. He can’t stop smiling because he feels elated that he’s holding Minhyun like this and that he gets to show that he could care for his hyung. His worry is clouded with anticipation.

The excitement ceased when they reached the staircase of Minhyun’s apartment. Minhyun is having a harder time in geting up and continuing the climb up the stairs. He paused every step and he couldn’t look at Jaehwan anymore. Jaehwan hated it.

Minhyun’s room is not a stranger to Jaehwan. They’ve hung out a lot of times in here before. In fact, he was just there the previous week but the difference was visible. Jaehwan knows Minhyun likes to clean and the room was not clean at all. The clock was facing down, the sheets were not made, and the clothes are piling on the chair. This was not Minhyun at all and clearly, he’s been lying when he told him that he felt sick just that morning.

Jaehwan led him to the bed so he could rest. The other man supported himself by holding the bed post while Jaehwan opened the buttons of his shirt so he could change into something more comfortable. Minhyun laid on the bed half naked, eyes tempted to close down already.

The younger got a towel and wetted it in the bathroom sink with cold water. He used it to wipe Minhyun’s body to help it cool a little bit and Minhyun hissed at the touch. Jaehwan found a white shirt neatly folded in the drawer and took it. He helped him put it on while taking notes of the curves and edges Minhyun’s body has. He cannot possibly be thinking about _it_ at this moment. _Ugh._

Once Minhyun was comfortably dressed, Jaehwan covered him with a blanket so he could sleep. He prepared a glass of water along with his medicines, taking the habit from his mother. Minhyun was asleep when he came back to the room.

Minhyun woke up after six hours. Jaehwan was sitting on a chair near the bed, head leaning on the bedside table just so he would be ready when Minhyun wakes up. This made Minhyun smile. “Hey.”

Hands met Jaehwan’s eyes to erase the sleepiness. Upon remembering where he was, he found Minhyun’s eyes already looking at him.

How could he still look like an angel even if he was sick?

“How are you?” Jaehwan sat back and stretched. His muscles were tensed when he slept at that position so he betted his money that his body will ache tomorrow.

“I’m feeling better now, thank you.”

Jaehwan didn’t forget that it was almost time to drink the medicine again. He looked at Minhyun and then _he knows._

“You know hyung, I think I should just live here so I could look after you every day.” Jaehwan joked at him. He felt shy straightaway after his remark. He knows he shouldn’t have said it.

Minhyun has decided how to react to this after a few seconds. “Would you please?”

Jaehwan took his hand from the edge of the bed and kissed it gently. “Of course, Minhyun-hyung.”

“I love you,” was all Minhyun could say.

The cheeriness was back in his eyes. It was Jaehwan who said ‘I love you too’ this time.


	4. Four

Minhyun and Jaehwan managed to graduate on time at the same time. The difference in their curriculum made it happen—all throughout the almost failing grades and the three-day all-nighter sprees. They are both thankful.

Jaehwan walked proudly to his family. Being an only child was quite boring for him when he was younger but a few more years of maturity made him realize that he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves his mom, he loves his dad, and he knows both of them love him in a way he could never top even if he tried.

So of course, both of them were here. Jaehwan’s dad had his arms open when the graduation ceremony of his college ended and he saw his son walking towards them.

A combined roar of 'congralations' and 'hooray' that almost sounded like a groan filled the auditorium. Deadlines were only a couple of weeks from the ceremony so everyone was still hung up on all the cramming they all did. 

His mom, on the other hand, was just silent. She turned back from the her family (bear hugging each other) for a second to wipe her tears. She gave up easily from hiding as tears fell without a hitch. She kissed both of Jaehwan’s cheeks while whispering a ‘Congratulations, baby’ to his ears.

Tears are pooling from Jaehwan’s eyes as he prays a thank yoi that he’s very blessed to have a supportive family. They were bound in a group hug when Jaehwan’s dad caught Minhyun's eyes.

They didn’t know each other but Jaehwan’s dad felt like he was asking for permission or something. _Permission to get close_

Jaehwan’s dad did not know how to react so he motioned Jaehwan on Minhyun’s way.

Minhyun was standing tall in his own academic gown. Jaehwan is still in disbelief how this man could rock a clothing that actually lack accurate measurements. He believes only Minhyun could do it and his brain supplies ‘mine.’ Minhyun stood still in front of him, mutually mesmerized by Jaehwan. It was the younger’s father who broke the trance when he cleared his throat. Minhyun realized that his boyfriend’s father has his eyes on the bouquet he’s been gripping too tightly.

Jaehwan sensed the tension.

“Ah… Abeoji and eomeoni, this is Hwang Minhyun.” Jaehwan’s mouth felt dry and it’s suddenly hard to swallow. His parents looked at him with interest, as if to say ‘go on.’ “He’s my boyfriend.”

Jaehwan’s mother squealed (to put it mildly) after his announcement. She threw his arms around Minhyun and hugged him the way only mothers could hug. Minhyun was quick to reciprocate the embrace and when they let go, he bowed to Jaehwan’s father.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” was all Minhyun could manage to say. He’s been waiting for the ceremony to end for about ten minutes already and he did not run all the way here from his college so he couldn’t understand why he’s suddenly out of breath. His mind did a quick google about _what to say to your boyfriend’s parents when you first meet them_ and he realized that his brain wouldn’t give him anything useful because 1) he doesn’t have wifi in his brain and 2) he doesn’t have prior experience in these kinds of things. He felt trapped.

“Boyfriend? Omo, Jjaeni. He’s so handsome!” His mother proclaims louder than expected. A few glances were shot on their way.

“Umma not here!” Jaehwan was close to blushing. He grabbed his father’s arms to lead them out of the auditorium. His mother’s arms clung onto Minhyun’s arms and she looked youthful once more. Jaehwan couldn’t hide his smile.

“Is this okay to you, abeonim?” Jaehwan said silently, throwing a glance at his father. He looked back at him.

“As long as you assure me that both of you truly love each other. And by love, you know what I mean.” Jaehwan understood and nodded in confirmation.

They reached the car in front of the building when Jaehwan removed his gown, revealing a dark purple long-sleeved shirt hugging his torso. The last semester did a good job in slimming him down, just in time for summer. His father has already started the car so he helped Minhyun get out of his own academic gown.

“The flowers are for you,” Minhyun giggled while entangled in the gown.

“I kind of guessed but thank you. And oh, congratulations, Dr. Hwang.” Jaehwan’s cheeks went hot at the sudden embarrassment brought about by what he just said. Up until now, Minhyun’s nickname stayed in their shared bedroom. He felt shy having said it in public, plus with his parents only a car window away from them.

“Hey, hey. You’re going to be a doctor too so congratulations.” Jaehwan sighed at this but he wanted to rest the argument for now. He’s finished his veterinary degree but he’s still not confident if he’ll pass the standard examinations.

“Minhyun, will you join us for lunch?” Jaehwan’s mother opened the car window to ask the taller man.

“Yes, auntie, if that’s okay? My parents weren’t able to come today for the ceremony.” Minhyun bites a bitter taste in his tongue.

“Of course, it’s okay! We would need to talk about you and Jaehwan and how adorable his cheeks were and now it’s all gone!” Jaehwan’s mother took out her fan from her small bag and eased herself of the heat from the outside. Jaehwan sat on the passenger seat and his mother was just so happy to corner Minhyun at the back.

 It was almost five thirty in the evening when they went back home. Both of them are still full from the buffet they went to celebrate both of their successes. The whole afternoon was full of active exchanges of a few anecdotes from Jaehwan’s childhood and Jaehwan’s mid-school to college moments. Jaehwan thinks he’d found the president and the vice president of his fan club. His heart felt big and warm at the moment.

Minhyun surprisingly went straight to the bedroom. Jaehwan was still removing his shoes when he heard a slow music coming from where Minhyun is. His curiosity got him bad so he went in as well.

Jaehwan’s entrance to the room was welcomed by a gentle bear hug from Minhyun. Minhyun slowly transitioned them to a dancing position and Jaehwan felt like a teenager from an American teen flick, dancing his first junior-senior dance. A few years has passed and the butterflies in his stomach are still there, vigorously fluttering as if they could renew their love for Minhyun every second of the day.

Minhyun led Jaehwan to twirl slowly, making the other one giggle. The taller man started his speech.

“Kim Jaehwan, today you’ve achieved yet another success in your life. I know you still feel wary and doubtful and you can’t help but think that you’re not good enough.” Minhyun kissed him lightly in the cheeks while they dance in slow, slow circles. “But speaking from a point of view of an expert in Jaehwan studies, I can assure you that you deserve this achievement. I’ve seen you push yourself to work harder so you could reach your dreams. However, I, as your boyfriend,” Minhyun felt Jaehwan smile while leaning closely on his left shoulder. “Would like to remind you that we’re still in the process of progress. We still have a long way to go. I know you’re scared of what’s to come in the future but please believe me when I say that you won’t face them alone cause I’m with you and I know you’re with me so I’m stronger too.” Jaehwan sniffed, giving Minhyun the cue to cup his face and wipe his tears with his eyes.

“Congratulations on your graduation, Jaehwannie.” Minhyun has started to cry too.

“I love you, Minhyun.” Jaehwan smiled with his eyes closed, leaning to the touch of the man in front of him.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i joined curious cat today coz i got curious hehe https://curiouscat.me/charmandu


	5. Five

Jaehwan’s band was invited to their university’s summer music festival.

Minhyun doesn’t know how Jaehwan still manages to have time for music when he’s been very busy working for the City Veterinarian’s Office. He’s Doc Jaehwan by day, more often called Doc Hwannie by the kids who bring their dogs for routine check-up. And then at performance night, he’s just a whole new persona altogether.

Their band started posting videos in Naver and in Youtube after they graduated. A few locals have caught on the vibe of their music, gaining them a few fans. Minhyun would like to describe their music as jazz married to rock and it’s basically Minhyun and Jaehwan as a pair.

Jaehwan fully understands when the pediatrician couldn’t come to the small gigs in restaurants and bars in uptown Seoul because of his shift. If he’s being honest, he’s actually shy performing in front of Minhyun. He’d be all red and stuttering when Minhyun watches him sing and play the guitar. But of course, Minhyun doesn’t let that stop him.

Early on the week, Minhyun filed for a leave so he could come to the summer music festival. He’s noticed a lot of people loitering around the area, especially the grassy part of the open field to listen to the performers and take a break from school. Some were even having a picnic because a few stalls were opened for the week-long celebration of ending the school year.

A lot of memories rushed in as he passed by the buildings that is usually in his and Jaehwan’s route when going home. He couldn’t believe that they’ve known each other for so long and yet there is still so much to learn from each other. The part that he appreciates most is that apart from being there for each other to depend on is the growth they see inside themselves. Minhyun attributes his kindness to Jaehwan. He’s seen it in his eyes at first and then in his heart. Both of them are making the other their best version of themselves.

Minhyun would admit that there are slow days in their relationship but he doesn’t actually see it as negative. One time he asked Jaehwan about this. “Do you ever get bored with me? I’m not really interesting, you know.” Jaehwan shifted his focus from the book he’s reading to Minhyun who’s kneeling just beside the sofa Jaehwan is currently occupying. Minhyun rested his chin on Jaehwan’s knee as if to show that he’s _genuinely curious but please let the answer be positive._

Jaehwan closed his book and put his right arm on Minhyun’s cheeks. “Hyung, please don’t doubt my love for you. I stayed with you because you are you. No holds barred. This comfortable silence we have from time to time is a part of you and I embrace it.” Jaehwan smiled at him softly. “Just like how you love me even if I’m noisy, like a Disney Princess who would suddenly burst out to a song every time.” Minhyun was tearing up but he couldn’t help but smile from Jaehwan’s last remark.

The noise in the open field is still tolerable. The band currently playing sounds familiar but he doesn’t know the lyrics to their songs.

He showed his pass to the guards and he was allowed to enter the small mosh pit just before the stage primarily dedicated to the organizers.

The atmosphere is almost too hot because of the crowd. Minhyun regretted not buying the bubble milk tea he saw before entering the gate. One more band and Jaehwan’s will play after.

After three songs and a bow, Jaehwan’s band entered the stage. They were busy setting up their instruments and Jaehwan was still adjusting to the spotlight so he didn’t notice Minhyun to be there. All of them were wearing navy blue. 

The band first sang a cover of Maroon 5’s She Will Be Loved while their second was a cover of Congratulations by Day 6. The screams and cheers were louder for the second song and Minhyun is singing along with everybody. His head was swaying to the beat, eyes focused on the vocalist of the band.

Jaehwan announced to the crowd that the next song will be their last one for the night and that the next band will be coming up soon. The band members were introduced one by one and the crowd was generous of their clapping. He’s also shared their social media sites just in case anyone would want to hear more of them.

The song was self-composed and he told no one in particular (just out in the open) that it was his love song for his boyfriend who helped him study in high school so he could pass the entrance exam for the very same university. The crowd gave a collective ‘awwwww’ and the drums started the beat.

 The song started fast but the words were overemphasized—much similar to their love. They were lovers who fell slowly but dove in fast. They’ve started in high school and they’ve actualized their love in college. They’ve moved in together and graduated together. It all seemed fast and still they feel like all these times are not enough to give each other the love they deserve. All memories are well taken care of, put into a box and stored somewhere safe in their hearts.

The bridge of the song came and phone lights were raised in the air as support for Jaehwan’s love for his one and only. This was the time when Jaehwan sees Minhyun in front of the stage, all teary eyed and sniffing. Minhyun thought that this was probably why Jaehwan was hiding his songwriting book.

Jaehwan was so cool on stage. He didn’t even get nervous when he saw Minhyun. He was shocked yes, but it felt like he was just waiting for the right moment to look at him. Apparently, it was the second time.

The second time their eyes met was when the song was almost over. Jaehwan looked at Minhyun directly in the eye, winked, and said Saranghae while the mic was still on. Before Minhyun could process, a few members of the crowd shouted Saranghae back at Jaehwan. Jaehwan thanked the audience for their warm welcome of their band. The bandmates held each other’s hands and bowed to the audience. They were still waving at the audience when Jaehwan waves at him.

Minhyun takes this as the chance to give his reply. He mouths the words “Nado saranghae,” and suddenly, Jaehwan’s all shy again.

Minhyun was glad to meet the person that Jaehwan was that day, he’s a part of him after all.


	6. The one he didn't

Minhyun woke up to a snuggling Jaehwan.

“The last time you woke up before me was to greet me for my birthday.” Minhyun joked after putting his arms around the man who was trying his best not to wake Minhyun up. He still did because his actions weren’t calculated enough due to sleepiness. Minhyun adjusted his pillow so he could move lower and cuddle Jaehwan better. There is just no better feeling in the world.

“Hyung, please don’t tell me you forgot what day it is.” Jaehwan looked up at him, pout showing. Minhyun ruffled his red hair to mess up with him.

“How could I, Jaehwannie. You’ve been pestering me since yesterday.” Jaehwan giggled at this while pulling himself up to hover over Minhyun.

“Breakfast?”

Minhyun propped himself up to kiss Jaehwan’s lips. “This,” and another kiss to both of his cheeks. “Is my breakfast.”

Jaehwan buried his face on the crook of Minhyun’s neck in embarrassment. He’s always like this: he becomes shy all of a sudden when they’re getting intimate, as if they haven’t done dirtier things.

Minhyun wondered how and why being in love with Jaehwan is this easy. The bliss he feels everyday is unbelievable. He falls in love with him everyday, even with the weirdest of reasons: be it the way he tucks his hair behind his ears, the voice he uses when he’s saying good night, or the fact that he still sends him photos of the groceries when he cannot decide by himself.

It actually scares him. Being this happy and content might mean a hardship that they may not be able to to get through but he doesn’t like to dwell on this. He’d take what’s in front of him and cherish every moment he has with this lovely man.

Jaehwan tried to stand on his knees and pull Minhyun off the bed but Minhyun pulled him rather strongly and won. Now he’s back in the taller’s arms, enjoying the warmth both of them give off. The airconditioning of the room has been switched off already and their skin slide smoothly off of each other, like gears perfectly fitting to function properly. Jaehwan settled on Minhyun’s upper torso, absentmindedly brushing his cheeks on his lover’s chest. Minhyun’s hand automatically runs on Jaehwan’s hair in an attempt to lull him back to sleep.

“Your red hair suits you really well. You’re like a cherry.”

Jaehwan stopped the motion for a second, giving his boyfriend a daring look. Minhyun almost had a hard time to swallow. “Want to pop the cherry?” a wink followed Jaehwan’s bold statement. Minhyun blushed at his boyfriend’s remarks, making him shove an entire pillow on the younger’s face before he could even give him his maniac laugh. He shouldn’t get used to provoking him like that.

Laughter can be heard from under the pillow and soon, Jaehwan freed himself and stands up, pulling Minhyun away from the bed.

Breakfast is already laid on the dining table of their small home. More picture frames hang on the walls and a small space is dedicated to all the music instruments Jaehwan could play, together with the diploma and certificates both of them received in their different fields as doctors.

Two backpacks are resting near the front door since they’re going on an overnight trip today. Minhyun remembers how hard it was for him to let go of a few things which can’t fit the bag. Jaehwan’s bag was lighter compared to him, given that he is the one traveling more often because of free veterinary services they do around the country.

The vacation is not really anything fancy but they will be taking a boat to go to an island where they will spend the night. Minhyun thought it was fancy enough.

The drive to the port was almost four hours but Minhyun doesn’t really mind because Jaehwan kept on holding his free hand and feeding him grapes. Minhyun loves it that Jaehwan’s hand stayed the same--it still fits him perfectly, still warm and soft, and his thumb still caresses his whenever his mind goes wandering.

For Minhyun, looking at Jaehwan could be compared to the sun’s rising. It’s routine, it’s early, but it will always be a reason for him to stop and admire. It might be the same view for others but it’s always, always a different feeling for him. It’s a moment of reassessment, of contemplation, and of how and why his sun continues to shine for him.

_He loves him so much._

It’s a weekday so the port wasn’t as busy as usual. More locals are in line to the ferry ticket booth than tourists and that calmed them somehow. It’s an early sign of a relaxing vacation.

Minhyun offered to carry Jaehwan’s backpack even if the younger looked _too cute_ carrying it.

Jaehwan embraced him, putting his hands on the sides of his waist, locking it just below Minhyun’s backpack. He looked up at him, giving Minhyun the license to kiss him on the forehead. Jaehwan closed his eyes to feel the kiss, speaking up only after three more seconds. “You spoil me too much, hyung.”

“It’s only because you’re my baby.”

Jaehwan hid his face on his lover’s chest and said a muffled “I’m not a baby!” as protest. The taller pulled him closer then led him to walk backwards so they could move on in the line without letting go of each other’s embrace.

He rested his cheek on the shorter’s head and said “Sure, sure.” Jaehwan let go of their hug to get his wallet and pay for their tickets. They will need to go to one island first to eat lunch and take a rest before finally going to another island to spend the night and see the sunrise.

It took only an hour for the ferry to drop them to the first island. Jaehwan is busy taking a video of Minhyun going down from the ferry when the other turned around to offer his hand in support.

The two of them walked straight to the restaurant a friend of them recommended saying that the rice cooked with coconut milk is really good. It’s an indonesian dish according to him.

The food was great and Minhyun was very much adamant that Jaehwan should stop taking videos and just enjoy the moment. “But I was going to make a vlog!” Jaehwan protested to which Minhyun succumbed to saying, “Fine. But put it down once we start eating.” Jaehwan kissed him in return.

They found an area filled with coconut trees connected with large hammocks. Minhyun sits on one but it’s too big that he almost stumbled and fell. Jaehwan is quick enough to rescue him, sitting on the hammock too. He doesn’t forget to turn the camera and focus it on them so he could record his hyung still struggling to keep his balance.

“Hyung, just stay still.” Jaehwan advised to the older.

The hammock was peaceful for the first time since they sat. “Oh.”

Jaehwan is busy looking at the photos and videos he took when he notices Minhyun’s head on his shoulder, eyes closed. He kisses Minhyun’s forehead as if to apologize for being preoccupied with his camera. Jaehwan starts to play with his hair softly to gently wake the other up. It’s almost 4:30 PM and they promised the boat they hired through an agency that they will meet him up at the shore on the left side of the restaurant.

The boatman they hired was still young, probably younger than the two of them and that may be the reason he’s understanding at best. He doesn’t throw sharp looks at the two of them when they held hands just after their small boat carved its way in the sea. Minhyun notices that Jaehwan kept his camera after taking two or three photos and that he has been holding his hand since then.

The boat pointed out that the sun is already setting. Jaehwan rests his chin on Minhyun’s shoulders. “It’s beautiful, hyung.”

“It is. So thank you for forcing me to go here.” Minhyun says while still looking at the view.

“We haven’t arrived yet.” Jaehwan answers and Minhyun giggles while squeezing his hand in slight annoyance.

It’s almost dark when their boat slows down to the shore. Minhyun has a light jacket on to protect him from the breeze.

Minhyun is the first one to alight from the boat. He removes his sandals to avoid getting it wet. The sand is nowhere near soft but it warmed his cold feet so it’s fine by him. The string of lights leading them to the front desk was captivating enough that he forgets to offer his hand to support Jaehwan.

Jaehwan talks to the boatman while Minhyun brings out his phone to take a photo. He now knows what photo to upload on Instagram, debating between “Lights will guide you home” and “And at last I see the light” as caption. He couldn’t decide if Coldplay or Tangled would be more appropriate but maybe Jaehwan could help him later.

The walk from the short to the main door is impish and the only solution Minhyun saw was to intertwine their hands so that Jaehwan could stay in place. He thinks Jaehwan should reserve his energy now for _the possibilities_ the night offers.

A woman dressed in a sheer blouse with leaf prints welcomes them, puts a Lei on their necks. Minhyun followed Jaehwan to the front desk. Minhyun held his hand when he noticed that the boy was _actually_ flirting with the girl. Sometimes Jaehwan does this to get freebies at the supermarket or to skip a line in a restaurant.

“Uh, they changed our rooms.” Jaehwan told Minhyun after pulling him away from the reception.

“For a better one?” Minhyun was already imagining a smaller room with a tight space, with no free shampoo.

Jaehwan winked at him just before saying, “Of course.” Minhyun sighed in relief.

They settled their things in the room, it was spacious--bigger than most of the rooms they rent out when travelling. The light switch was also cool as it looks like a volume tuner, controlling the brightness of the lights. Jaehwan must have used his charms well.

“I’ll order our dinner outside. You can wash up then find me in the dining area.” Minhyun felt his heart bloom--Jaehwan is taking care of him. He only nodded in response.

Minhyun only did a quick wash up because he doesn’t like the idea of the food waiting. He wore a white polo thick enough for the cold breeze but light enough for the beach. The key card was nowhere to be seen so he took time getting out of the room only to realize that the door was password-activated. Getting to the shore wasn’t as easy as he thought but he didn’t want to ask someone for help. He smiled at himself when he found the exit, after two wrong turns.

He could smell the food immediately, making him close his eyes for a bit, not realizing the situation he was in. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that a line of torches seemed to be leading him somewhere, the dining area perhaps?

Then he noticed the sound of a piano, pushing him to take a few steps more. He was almost breathless when he saw Daehwi playing the instrument; and Jinyoung holding a microphone--both for himself and Daehwi. It took him a second or two to realize that Daehwi’s playing Jaehwan’s first composition for him, a gift from when they celebrated their 100th day as a couple.

Sand got into Minhyun’s sandals but he didn’t have the time to care. He could sense something was waiting for him at the end of the aisle of torches, not to mention the approving smiles of his two juniors from the hospital. He finally took a step forward when Jinyoung started to sing.

The torches led him to the shore and everyone was there: both of their parents and the brothers they met along the way--Jisung was holding both Sungwoon’s and Daniel’s hand while Seongwu has his arm around Daniel, on the other side were the two Parks, surprisingly without Max, and Kuanlin… Kuanlin was beside the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

Jaehwan stepped closer and closer and Minhyun could only think about the light being reflected in his partner’s eyes. It looked like the sea, dark yet well-lit by the moon. It felt like he could drown in it and he wouldn’t even try to fight for air. He’d fully embrace it, even if it means giving himself wholly.

Tears were streaming down on Minhyun’s face when he felt a nudge from his sandals--it was Max. Jaehwan knelt down to pick the dog up and untie the box he was carrying behind him like a small backpack. The dog ran to Woojin after being freed.

A cold breeze blew, making everyone hold on to the person beside them. Minhyun looked at everyone slowly with an attempt to absorb and imprint the image in his mind. The song is nearing its end and he could hear the beautiful harmony of Jinyoung and Daehwi’s voices. Minhyun’s eyes landed on Jaehwan’s and _he knew._

“If there’s one thing extraordinary about us, hyung. It’s that both of us worked for our relationship. It wasn’t the normal ‘I’ll court you’ kind of arrangement.” Jaehwan looked down and sniffed before getting back to his speech. “I wanted to study harder so I could be with you in university. Little did I know that you wanted to help me study because you wanted to be with me in our university, too.” Minhyun couldn’t help it but wipe his eyes with both of his palms.

“Our relationship has been like this--an active exchange of love and trust and effort. All of it were the fruits of being loved by our parents and by our friends.” The lyrics of the song fades but the piano kept playing.

“I want to marry you not because I don’t know how to spend my mornings if not annoying you with how slow I eat breakfast; not because I can’t imagine telling how bad my day went to someone else; it’s not because you give the best hugs and you cook the best lasagna.” Jaehwan hid his face on his arm and sobbed. He continued after gaining his composure back.

“I want to marry you because I love you. I love you even though our first exchanges of 'I love yous' happened in the silence of the library. I love you even though you asked me to move in with you while you were fighting a flu. I love you because you are my best friend. You are my number one supporter and my number one critic. I hope and I wish to be able to show you how much I love you for the rest of our lives, if you would allow me.” Minhyun could see Jaehwan’s hands shaking despite the tears clouding his eyes. “I love you, Hwang Minhyun. Will you marry me?”

Minhyun couldn’t say ‘I love you too’ back because he could only manage to give a small nod before their faces crashed for a kiss. The whole crowd cheered their congratulations despite the strong wind. Max barked at the two, giving Jaehwan the chance to pull back and slide the ring in Minhyun’s finger.

Woojin was the first one to give them a big hug and the rest followed. Seongwu kept on shouting “Finally, Jaehwan. Finally!” while the others laughed.

Minhyun was pulled to a hug by his and Jaehwan’s parents. “Jaehwan cried harder when he was asking for our blessing.”

“A-auntie!” Jaehwan said in humiliation.

“It’s okay to call me mom from now on, Jaehwan-ah.”

If Minhyun’s going to be honest, he would tell and retell this day as something he couldn’t remember much; but he’ll describe to you the look on each of their faces that night; he’ll share to you how he thinks the universe conspired to help them in every occasion that lead them to that fateful night; he’ll paint you how Jaehwan’s eyes shone like the moon was shining directly on it, how his lips twitched from the nervousness like when he was going on stage during graduation, and how he almost lost his balance while kneeling from too much pressure to make everything perfect just like before he performed on their university’s summer music festival.

If he tells you he couldn’t remember much about the times Jaehwan told him he loves him, don’t believe him because he does. He has it saved in his heart because there is just no better feeling in the world than to have the one you consider your world say I love you to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I prepared a longer speech for Jaehwan but I thought I could use it for the wedding if I ever get to push myself to write an epilogue for this. Hehehe.
> 
> Thank you for reading until the end! <3


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